


The Extinction Clause

by Finalinsanity



Category: Santa Clause (Movies)
Genre: Alternate History, Dinosaurs, Jackasaurus Frost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 09:37:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13633635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finalinsanity/pseuds/Finalinsanity
Summary: How do you think the Dinosaurs really died?Done as a joke for a podcast I'm a part of. Please do not take this seriously. Or take it as an example of good writing, pacing, or anything of the sort.





	The Extinction Clause

A blanket of darkness covers the land; the quiet night sky slowly stretching across the horizon, as the world is soon devoid of motion. Animals of all shapes and sizes retreat to their dens, as they always had, and would continue to do. Not a soul stirs, and the valley is at peace.

Suddenly, a flash. A brilliant streak of white in the great sky above, brighter than even the moonlight, shines down upon the Earth. A great wailing fills the air above, faint though it may be. A handful of creatures, disturbed by the noise, dare to venture out of their homes to see if any danger threatens them. The white light above slowly grows brighter, and the wailing louder - before long, it all comes to a screeching end as the light crashes down upon the edge of the valley, far from any creatures who saw it.

Far away, the dust settles and clears.

A lone triceratops approaches the wreckage of this… thing from the heavens. A soft glow fills the area, and without warning, something small and light snaps into the darkness, towards the unassuming dinosaur. A blazing green and red light fills the air, and the poor creature lets out a cry.

The light settles. The triceratops shakes its head, turning to see what its mystery assailant wrought upon its being. A red… thing, with white trim, now adorning its person. Seemingly without a will of its own, the beast growls;

“Ho, ho ho.”

-

We see a quartet of figures gazing down upon the valley from the cliffside.

One dinosaur, with a great beard and flowing robe, turns to another; “Mother Nature, are you sure this is right of us?”

A towering figure, Naturesaurus Rex nods. “Look around you, Father Time. As much as we need this planet, the planet needs us. We have already lost one home, and I don’t intend for us to lose another.”

Another towering figure butts into the conversation, a cold mist emitting from their body, fashionable blue suit and icicle tie hanging from their neck. “You know, I feel pretty good about this whole deal.” Jackasaurus Frost remarks. “Sure, we may have bungled up a bit-”

“A bit?” Naturesaurus Rex chides him.

“Okay okay, a lot,” Jackasaurus concedes. “But look at it this way. We have a new planet, new forms, and a chance for everybody to cool down and take this slowly. Just look at the bearded wonder!”

Fathersaurus Time looks confused. “No, not you, old man!” Jackasaurus clarifies. He gestures behind him to the lone triceratops, very confused at everything going on.

“So, let me get this straight. You all came from…” TriSantatops glances above. “Up there? And this… thing, too?” It glances at the red coat adorning its body. “I don’t get it. What’s your deal? What’s with this coat? What am I here for?”

“Oh, you know, standard procedures really,” Jackasaurus chimes in. “You found the coat, so now you’re the new Santa. It’s all pretty simple, all you have to do is keep track of all the children of the world, whether or not they’ve been good or bad, what they want, that sort of thing. Trust me, you’ll have plenty of help. Eventually. Whenever it is the elves get here. They love taking their sweet time during space travel.”

“Children? Elves? Space?” TriSantatops is befuddled. “I’m… I don’t understand. What does all of this even mean?”

“I can see this will take some work,” Fathersaurus Time nods sagely. “I’ll mentor him in the ways of the Legendary Figures, and we shall rejoin the rest of you in time.”

Naturesaurus Rex waves the two of them farewell as they go off. Jackasaurus Frost is not amused. “Ugh. Do we really have to take these… appearances? You know back on our world, I actually looked good in a suit? And now I have these stumpy little arms, a giant head, and whatever the heck this thing behind me is?” He waves his tail in a ‘look at this what is this’ motion.

“You know how it works, Jack. By the laws of our own powers, we take the form of whatever dominant species on the planet there is. There’s little to be done while these creatures are around.”

“Ah, yes, that one global rule we all go by for some silly reason. What was that called again? The Expiration Clause?” Jackasaurus Frost inquires.

“The Extinction Clause, Jack.” Naturesaurus Rex sighs. “Should all of these creatures perish, then we, of course, would have to take a new form when a new dominant species is established.”

“Ah, yes, that.” Jackasaurus Frost laughs. “Of course, I already knew all about that. Just wanted to make sure you’re not getting too old to remember the details, eh? You’re what, two billion years old at this point? Three billion?”

Naturesaurus Rex glares at him. “I suggest you get used to these forms. Maybe redesign your wardrobe a little?” Naturesaurus leaves. “I have to go find new hosts for Sandman and Tooth Fairy, and that will take time. You, just… I don’t know. Do whatever it is you do until Winter comes.”

Jackasaurus Frost is left alone. He gazes out upon the valley, and a thought crosses through his tiny Tyrannosaurus brain. As long as these creatures are around, eh?

-

“So, Santa, you feel like you’ve got a hang of your powers now?” Fathersaurus Time watches as TriSantatops quickly - at least to the naked eye - rushes in a blur to construct a large clay figure of himself.

“Yeah, I think so,” TriSantatops stops and admires his handiwork. “This ‘time’ stuff takes some getting used to, but it’s not so bad.”

“Well, count yourself lucky you only have a fraction of my powers,” Fathersaurus chuckles. “It takes a lot of willpower not to let them run amuck.”

“So, of the Legendary Beings… are you the most powerful?”

  
“Hm. Perhaps. Mother Nature is quite strong in her own right, however. And in ways that I could not hope to replicate. The two of us, we are two halves of a greater whole, keeping the universe in balance. As are you, and Jack, and the rest of the Legendary Figures that have yet to join us.”

“So what’s Jack’s deal anyways? Ever since you mentioned this ‘Christmas’ thing is getting closer, he’s been going off on his own a lot. Is he okay?” TriSantatops asks, concerned.

“Jack has always been a bit of an odd one. Vain, yes, but powerful beyond what any of us would dare admit in front of him. His powers, they’re… special. He is the herald of the seasons to come, and - ...actually, speaking of which… it’s odd. I thought he would’ve put the Winter season into motion by now.” Fathersaurus Time puzzles for a bit. “Ah well. I’m sure he’ll call it out when he feels the time is right.”

“Winter?” TriSantatops is puzzled. “I’ve never heard of that before. Well, I’ve never heard of a lot of things until the three of you showed up, but still.”

“Ah, Winter is a wonderful time of year,” Fathersaurus Time smiles and reminisces. “The world feelin ever more at peace, a global feeling of togetherness, and not to mention-”

His talk is cut short by a sudden, sharp cold that pierces the air. It only takes a second for Fathersaurus to realize what’s going on; the sky overhead turns gray. Giant white shards fill the air, coating the ground, the plants, the entire world; a biting, hollow cold overtakes the landscape, and far from their location, the creatures they had taken as their own form drop; dead.

“This… what is going on? Is this winter, so suddenly and so powerfully… is it Jack’s doing? Come Santa, we must-” Fathersaurus turns to TriSantatops and sees a horrible sight. Fathersaurus, though very cold, is ultimately unaffected by the sudden chill.

TriSantatops has no such luck, however. TriSantatops simply lays there, still as can be. And before his very eyes, Fathersaurus watches the body of TriSantatops disappear, leaving only the coat behind.

-

Far away, deep within the heart of a volcano, Jackasaurus Frost kicks back. “Alright, so I had to freeze three volcanoes to get all this power going. Not bad! I think that’s a new personal best. Maybe I can aim for zero next time.” He had spent the past several months learning the weakness of the creatures he had taken shape of, and had realized their extreme vulnerability to something he knew very well - the cold.

“Mother Nature will, of course, need my help to restore the world over the next few million years. And with that… maybe I can ensure that whatever species comes up next evolves just the way I need them to…”

An evil smile creeps across Jackasaurus Frost’s face. It would take time for the world to recover from the nearly neverending winter he had wrought. And the best of all, was that he knew the other Legendary Figures couldn’t stop him. He knew Mother Nature and Father Time were immortal; there would be no way they would be affected in full, the same way the rest of the creatures were. Yet without a full council, they couldn’t take his powers away or suspend him. And when a new host race was chosen, the new Figures would be unable to rule against him, as they hadn’t been around to pass judgement on his actions.

Knowing his safety and security of his plans, he decides to relax for a little while. Though his plan was underway, he still had a long time to go in his current form. May as well take it easy until he could become handsome again.


End file.
